Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our lives.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Is my Peter Pan complex showing?

So, I don't want to grow up. I don't really think I ever REALLY wanted to grow up except when I was playing army as a kid and now that I know what real army is like, I'm done and can go back to being 6. I hate the idea of having real responsibilities that have large repercussions and having to do adult things. I hate relationships(this is an entirely different rant, but in short you women make great friends but go CRAZY in relationships and I'm not an RM so I'm not good dating stock anyways) I hate having to make payments, I love working but I hate bosses I feel like they're rarely smarter than me but somehow they are paid more and in charge of me and have god complex, I hate having to be knowledgeable, and I REALLY hate the fact that if I'm doing nothing to progress in life then everyone will look down on you. You know what I'm saying here? I obviously have some life aspirations(meet Chris Nolan, witness a collapsing star, ect) but when I get out of the army then I feel like doing NOTHING for a while and since I won't be able to get into BYU-I in the fall then that means I'll will have the chance to sit around for the winter. I'll be able to get unemployment for 3 years or so and I think I'll do it so I can just enjoy being free for a while, but I don't want to introduce myself as someone freshly out of the army, I don't want people to know I was in the army, I just want to be "Phillip" you know? But normal conversation goes along the lines of "Oh, I haven't seen you in a while what are you doing now?" and when I go "I'm sitting around seeing how many marshmallows I can shove in mouth on any given Monday afternoon" and you can see it in a persons face as they go "Oh...And what about after that? You have a job or are planning on school?" I don't want to have to validate myself to them, and the army IS a way of validating it in a sense to where when I tell people that have known me for a while that I'm planning on doing nothing then they all say something along the lines of "Good for you!" "You've earned it!" or such but I shouldn't have to do that. This is America, home of the lazy, don't look down on me for not wanting to do anything for a while.


  1. I think it's natural to want a break from all of that - after all, you just turned 21 and have been in the Army since you were 17 years old!
    Everyone dreams about just sleeping in the sun and taking it easy (or some equivalent thereof). It sounds fun.
    Eventually, you work yourself (bore yourself?) into activity as life goes along. Anticipating such a big change makes it seem like you have to make an official decision one way or another, but you'll feel better about things once you're into them. I think working at Island Park sounds fun, and I agree with the idea of saving for a car in the meantime.
    It's funny - the whole time I was growing up, I swore I would never grow up. I wanted to be like Peter Pan! Grownups didn't have any fun! And why was that? I couldn't figure out why they changed.

    Also, not all girls are crazy in relationships. Really!

  2. Bahaha... I loved this post. Being an adult is WAY overrated. Seriously. I HATE payments too! And I hate the fact that things break and you have to get new ones. Things that you never want to have to spend money on, like a washing machine. Or that tree that is falling in the backyard. And having to monthly pay the same thing over and over and over again (like the power bill) is vewy vewy annoying. It's like, "Hey, didn't I just pay this last month?!"
    Bosses are overrated, and yes, so many have the God complex.
    I had to deal with the same questions when everyone graduated from high school but there I was just a home schooler with no "graduation" to claim and a bunch of family to help. I had nothing really going for me. I WANTED something going for me, just couldn't have it at that time. But I know how that feels when people ask what you are doing. Just make something up that's a little bit crazy. Like, I'm working with the CIA on 2nd transitional tactical augmentations." People will all be like, "Oooh..." Really they will have no idea what you are talking about but it sounds important and they won't want to sound stupid for saying they don't even know what that is. Just make the other people feel stupid. It will make you feel good. :)

    I promise to not ask you about your marshmallow eating when you get home.

  3. P.S.
    Only weird girls are crazy in relationships! You just need to find a normal girl. Gosh, too bad your sisters are so great. We make it hard to find a girl as great as us. Sorry for setting the bar so darn high.

  4. When you get home(or before), you need to prepare for and get your Patriarchal Blessing. That might help you find your direction.
    Love, Your Mom!

  5. When you get home(or before), you need to prepare for and get your Patriarchal Blessing. That might help you find your direction.
    Love, Your Mom!