True statement, yes? Yes. However, its not an instant thing, it takes time, time is fleeting, so pressure will just make us rubble. True statement? Probably not, but that's just how I feel sometimes. Today I just felt down for some reason. Old Man, Hammy(roommate) and I were all up way too late watching movies and playing games and just being dumb, so I woke up at noon when Old Man came over again and me and him played more games and we really just sat around all day. When I say that, it always sounds depressing, but the fact is, we don't drink, and there is VERY little to do around here without drinking, so we play games and enjoy our own company and that's how we have fun. Last night then Ned and Kevin and Archie come over and all of us watched The Fighter, they all liked it, I love it, and then they left and we kept fooling around, that's a typical day for us. I'm not sure HOW happy I am with that, but I can live with it for now. There are some things I'd like to do, but can't right now. Relearn piano, learn guitar, learn a foreign language, I just don't. Not yet. Also, today was Old Man's birthday, but he didn't want to do anything, and he enjoyed himself, so good.
Anyway, back to rubble. Sometimes I feel just like a pile of crap, I'm not sure why. I felt that way for a bit before I realized what it was. I feel like I'm stuck. I feel like this alot, it usually is this when I'm depressed in some way or another. Today I felt like I'm no longer part of a family, and won't be for a while. I talked with Whitni about it for a while, and I suppose I felt better, but it boiled down to this:My parents are gone from my home state, where I want to be for a few years, I think. All my siblings in that home state(Seth aside, he...Well, he's another issue for me) have made their families and are doing their thing. My family is gone and made their own. Now I'm not a member, I'm an accessory to theirs. I'm always Uncle Phillip or the brother in law, and that's just how it is. I'm not where near getting married and making my own family(not willing to rush into that just yet) and you're probably saying "Hey, stop being silly, plenty of people are in the same boat as you" but here's the difference, in my mind: They all have their good friends, their niche, their place of belonging. I have friends sure, but I have no good friends anywhere it seems. I'll be leaving Harry and Andrew is going to be heading to college and in the time since I joined the army he's found new guys to hang out with. He and I are still really great friends, the best of friends, but we are anything but a support structure for the other. I mean, we CAN support eachother, but we don't. Not unless we need to. Its hard to explain. I mean, we still are best friends, but I feel like he replaced me. He can be my best friend and we'll still find time to hang out, but we don't just have the time like we used to. Not a time issue, if that's what you're thinking, but it used to be "I invite Andrew and Phillip is coming. I invite Phillip and Andrew is coming" I mean, we were a pair, but now its not that way. Every coin has two sides and I won't have mine. Nathan went and got married(Not a negative thing in the least) and now he's either with Whitni or working, and even if he hadn't gotten married then he'd be in the same category as Andrew.
I'm not really sure how to resolve this feeling I have or this post, so I'll just do one of those challenge things and call it a night.
Day 16 - Your celebrity crush. This is a good question. Herm.....Tonight I think we'll go with Yvonne Strahovski. She's Sarah in Chuck, she was born in Australia, and she was Miranda in Mass Effect. Other than that she hasn't done much, but she hasn't done anything negative and I just kinda like her. Hey, look! There she is now!
Isn't this just a coinky dink(yeah, that just happened)